The Anatomy of "FINE!"

Any of you who have passed time with my daughter lately, have likely seen her shout "FINE!" when I dare say something like... "Hey Giovanna, time for a bath" or "Hey Giovanna, time to go" or "Hey Giovanna, how is your day?". She does this with the flair I've come to expect, the kind of flair that can only be found when you breed with an Italian. It's not just the "FINE!" - that would be too boring. It is the shouting of the "FINE!" with the BIG! DRAMATIC! FROWN! and the FLARING! OF! THE! NOSTRILS! and the VERY! PRONOUNCED! PLACEMENT! OF! THE! HANDS! ON! THE! HIPS! It's a whole "short play", accent on the DRAMA and if she knew how, she would end it with a loud "THOO!" as she spat in disgust on the floor. Then she'd stomp off.

Now, she is my first child and I will freely admit that the first time I witnessed Act 1, Scene 1 of "FINE!", I lost my shit. No I did. I had no earthly idea it was coming, I had never heard her say it before and with all the GESTURING! and FROWNING!, it seemed obvious she had been working on it for some time. But where did she see such a thing? These are the questions all of us must ask ourselves when our children do or say something that you have absolutely no recall of seeing or hearing with them, something you have never said or done yourself.. "Does it fall from the sky? Did aliens abduct her last night and give her a class on "FINE!"? How did she concoct such an elaborate reaction?". I've been over and over it and well.. I have no idea.

So then it was me asking myself... "Do I take a hard line on this? Ignore it and don't fuel the fire and hope it fades? Correct her with the correct thing to say such as 'Yes Mommy, I will do that'"? I decided to take option 3 and I have been correcting her politely and asking her to mimic me, repeating a much more polite and politically correct retort in place of "FINE!" and then I pat myself on the back for not knocking her teeth out. And well.. sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't.. like for example yesterday, when she shouted "FINE!" at me when I told her it was time to get down from the jungle gym at my friend Jenny's house. I slowly said "Say OKAY MOMMY" to which she resisted.. so I gritted my teeth and repeated "I said SAY OKAY MOMMY" and she FROWNED! AT! ME! and then said (rudely) OKAY MOMMY! and took a breath and said "FINE!". And Jenny and I lost our shit. No we really did. Because. What the hell child? Okay, there are probably doubters out there, so I will display for you the proof that "FINE!" really looks how I say it looks. Are you ready? Good because here it is.

This first one is her initial reaction to hearing something she does NOT want to hear like "Hey Giovanna, put down your sand toys and let's go take a nap:

Notice the body language of "I WILL RESIST YOU WITH ALL OF THE CELLS IN MY BODY". Then we have the "HMMPH!" part. It follows the "resistance" stance quickly, so remain poised to witness this part, it is not to be missed. The hands fly to the hips - please prepare yourself for the speed in which this happens. It is uniquely Italian, so if you are not a direct descendant of Italy, don't try this at home:

Lastly we have the shouting part "FINE!". If you have good reflexes, I recommend covering your ears because the volume is also uniquely Italian:

Now this last move takes practice, you have to throw your weight from your left foot to your right foot and put your face as close to the recipient of "FINE!" as you dare (please see above where I pat myself on the back for not swinging at her).

I am going to continue on my peaceful path of politely correcting her and not giving this behavior too much weight - I have learned with her that sometimes it is best to try to remain calm in the face of "Italian" and eventually she'll move onto something else. If I've learned anything from knowing Giancarlo this long, I should expect dramatic clutching of the chest next. Like say.. when I overcook her pasta.